Clean Christmas Jokes

For tree farmers, Christmas is a year-round business

For Christmas tree farmers, July ’tis the season.

Odd as it seems, says Bud Pochini, who operates the Pochini Family Christmas Tree Farm with his wife Lisa, this time of year is the busiest of the year for tree farmers, busier even than the holiday season itself.

Why Christmas in July?

Because between the spring rains and the summer heat, the trees like to run a little wild. In order to give them that iconic Christmas tree shape, it’s necessary to give them a good trimming in the middle of the summer.

The way they do it is amazing to watch. Instead of using a power tool, the Pochinis sharpen up a couple of large machete-like knives and have at the trees. With a few deft whacks, they slice off wayward branches, leaving that pleasing conical shape.

Each tree takes perhaps 40 seconds, meaning the action is a blur — arms and knives flying as the trimmer scoots around the tree, sending up a cloud of tiny pine trimmings. Some people do it with one knife in each hand, said Lisa, who prefers the one-hand method.

“It’s like Edward Scissorhands,” she said, referring to the surreal 1990 movie in which Johnny Depp plays an artificially created boy who has pruning shears for hands.

Because it is a by-hand process, the style of the cutter matters. Lisa favors a tight, sharply defined tree, while Bud likes them a little shaggier. They say they can tell who sheared a tree just by the shape (“Then I hear why I did it wrong,” Bud jokes).

Once the knife work is over, it’s time to go through with small hand clippers, checking particularly the top of each tree to make sure there is one solid shoot straight up to which customers can attach the signature star or angel.

Left to themselves, pine trees would send off multiple shoots at the top, sometimes in pairs, sometimes willy-nilly in different directions. The Christmas tree farmer is forever trying to tame that tendency.

“Sometimes it gets weird,” Bud said, gesturing off to suggest the random direction that the branches take. “A shoot thinks, ‘I’m the leader."We are fighting them."

Even at the farm relatively small - only 4 acres of trees - there is a huge amount to do the cutting time. Bud is not clear that the number pad, but it is about 2000 each season. This means that hiring additional workers, the recruitment of children to clean the pads, and get up close to Sunrise for the cutting done before the heat of the day sets in.

What are some funny, but clean, Christmas jokes? | You And Me

It was Christmas eve, and Santa was really busy making his list and checking it twice, when there came a knock at the door. His wife comes in. “Honey, where do you want me to put your boots and gloves?” Well, Santa is very busy and so he’s slightly annoyed by this trivial question, so he snaps at her, “Put them by the front door, and stop bothering me. I’m trying to get some work done.” He starts back to work, but a few minutes later an elf barges in. “Santa, we got all the toys wrapped, what should we do with them?” Santa snaps, “Stick ‘em in the sleigh!You do not see that I'm getting ready? I do not want to interrupt more! "But of course once it begins to return to work, there is another interruption. An angel standing at the door, said," Father, I have your Christmas tree. Where would you say? " And that's where we get the tradition of placing an angel on top of the Christmas tree.

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Giggle Fit: Crazy Christmas Jokes

Christmas jokes & riddles

The Best of the Good Clean Jokes

Christmas Around the World

Christmas Jokes, Puzzles and Poems