T-shirt Iron Ons

Put this on an Iron Bowl T-shirt: All hate is not created equal

BIRMINGHAM, Alabama - I'll take authors of famous phrases in Alabama football history for $500, Alex.

OK. The answer is, "Don't you know how much I hate these, um, guys?"

Contestant No. 1: "Who is Harvey Updyke at Toomer's Corner?" No.

Contestant No. 2: "Who is Eric Blackerby at the Wynfrey Hotel?" Sorry.

Contestant No. 3: "Who is Nick Saban on the Bryant-Denny Stadium sideline during the 2008 Iron Bowl?"

Correct. Not that there's anything wrong with that. No, seriously. It's as elementary as Sesame Street.

One of those three is not like the other. One of those three doesn't belong as we either rebuild what should be the greatest rivalry in college football or let it continue to become the worst.

Sorry, but they're not all links in a chain.

One of those three individuals mentioned above, allegedly, committed an actual crime. When Updyke poisoned the trees at Toomer's Corner, allegedly, he didn't take part in the rivalry. He tried to take it apart by trying to destroy one of the schools' most important symbols.

The other two people, who got most of the ink Friday at SEC Media Days, were guilty of something that was less than a crime, less than a sin and a more than necessary part of any epic rivalry. In different ways, Blackerby and Saban committed nothing more than clean, old-fashioned hate.

I know. Hate's a terrible thing. We're supposed to hate hate, if that's even possible. We're supposed to keep it on the field, to knock each other down and pick each other up, in a sporting way, and not confuse life and death with winning and losing.

You know, the way a lot of Alabama fans actually did after Updyke poisoned the two Toomer's trees, allegedly, and the way a lot of Auburn fans actually did after the April tornadoes ripped through the heart of Tuscaloosa.

When it really mattered, the color of people's shakers didn't matter.

The real trouble starts when people who aren't willing or able to put aside their differences won't or don't, when fans of one school wage an endless, blistering multimedia campaign to get their rival busted and fans of the other school start to respond in kind.

Blackerby, the now-infamous Alabama fan who wore the "I Hate Auburn" T-shirt Friday to the Wynfrey, doesn't seem like one of those fringe lunatics in person. I spoke to him before and after Saban was asked about his T-shirt, before and after he met Saban in the lobby.

One of those T-shirts you never forget | We don't care about ...

RetroDuck are an interesting set-up, combining custom T-shirts, printing for others, and their warehouse full of vintage iron-on transfers, some of them fifty years old!

The founder, Sean Maday, bought cartons of iron-on transfers and a heat press from a guy who kept them in the garage. The vintage decal deal was so successful that he went on to buy a warehouse full of the iron-ons which are now available for purchase.

But the T-shirt that won me over was one of those T-shirts you never forget. We have this family tradition, the week before school starts again in Fall, that we all get together at my Uncle’s beach house, take the boat out, catch fish, come back and cook fish and then watch The Princess Bride. It’s a family thing, and we do the whole dialog from the sailboat when we go fishing, including the Shrieking Eels (especially the Shrieking Eels) and when it gets to the ‘My name is …’ bit, we all get up off the couch and stagger around, fencing with imaginary swords.

Okay, maybe you have to be there to get the point – but the T-shirt is great and if you’ve been going to summer seminars and workshops like me, and wearing those cruddy labels you’re always given to put on, you’ll appreciate the design/dialog combo. And all for $18 – what’s not to blave?

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